Validation – Who Needs It? I Wish I Didn’t…

TW: Whining, a little ingratitude, & problemas del primer mundo

I’ll know by the end of the week if THEY want me!

Who are THEY and why would THEY want me?

I shall explain using general terms, my friends. You see, I’m not supposed to reveal THEY’s identity, so I’ll refer to them as the Voldemorts. 

Here’s the drama du jour. (Or, to be honest, the lack thereof.)

Last month the Voldemorts emailed me with exciting news! I had been nominated as a candidate for a bipolar-themed media project affiliated with a dynamic celebrity!

(For those of you on the edge of your seats, it’s NOT Tom Cruise!!!)

As you can imagine, I was very honored to be nominated.

I’ll admit that my fragile ego began swelling just a wee bit!

Then the Sally Field Syndrome took hold of me. The actress Sally Field won an Academy Award for her role in Places in the Heart, and during her acceptance speech she unabashedly told the audience,

“I can’t deny the fact that you like me; right now, you like me!”

After my initial excitement about being nominated faded, I realized that the nomination didn’t guarantee I’d be selected. I was competing against other anonymous candidates and I was required to be interviewed by a panel. 

Yuck.

My interview was a conference call with six Voldemorts, and I tried my best to answer their questions in an articulate, relevant and interesting way. After I had finished I thought, “Oh sh*t, I blew it!”

Ugh. 

Now it’s the waiting game. For over thirty years I’ve been through the waiting game many times for various jobs. While this interview wasn’t for a position per se, the stakes were higher because I bared my soul to that panel. The Voldemorts weren’t analyzing my typing skills – they were examining my life and my personality. My intuition told me I didn’t “wow” them, but my intuition had occasionally made a few plenty of mistakes, and I hoped they’d choose me, warts and all.

At least I’m not totally naive. This project is designed to appeal to specific demographics and I can guess what they are. My “advanced” age of forty-six might be a reason they’ll pass. Other factors that could generate a “thanks, but no thanks” are my diagnosis of postpartum bipolar, my relatively humdrum occupation as a writer/mom, or something lame I said.

See how I’m already bracing for rejection? 

My most recent post about praying to the Unknown Angels comes to mind. I’ve been praying to them for this situation’s best outcome, and that’s all I can do. 

Even when I’m doing well and I’m stable as can be, I don’t handle rejection well.

I’ve written six posts about book proposal rejection and schadenfreude; as  you can see, these are topics that fascinate me. Rejection is rejection, whether it’s for a book proposal or a glitzy-sounding media project. Yes, they’re different degrees of rejection, but they are related. It’s important to remember that rejections can turn out to be a blessing in disguise.

For today, I’m trying hard to psych myself up for whatever the Voldemorts decide.

I’ll keep praying to the Unknown Angels and probably drive them crazy, but I’ll be praying this week for extra strength to handle what comes my way. I can learn from this experience. I can look at it as preparation for more rejection because I’ve begun sending out requests for blurbs for my book. Next year I’ll deal with more rejection because as hard as it is to believe 😉 my book won’t get 100% glowing reviews – just kidding. That’s a given!!!

And you know I’ll blog about it again because that’s how I roll! 

What helps you through rejection?

Any experiences you care to share are welcome here!

Dyane’s memoir Birth of a New Brain – Healing from Postpartum Bipolar Disorder with a foreword by Dr. Carol Henshaw (co-author of The Modern Management of Perinatal Psychiatry) will be published by Post Hill Press in October 2017.

Afterlifethoughts & Angels: Part Two

We need our angels now more than ever before…

 

Thanksgiving Edition: I’m posting a few days early since I thought you might want to try this idea tomorrow, probably not at the dinner table, but in private! 😉 

Dear Friends,

First of all, Happy almost-Thanksgiving to those of you who celebrate it!

Recently I read Medical Medium: Secrets Behind Chronic and Mystery Illness and How to Finally Heal by Anthony William. Although I’ve established I’m a bit of a “woo woo” gal, I initially didn’t feel drawn to reading it because I was turned off by the Panglossian title. But thanks to my mercurial mind, I eventually read a sample on my Kindle and gave it a chance. 

In the first section, Anthony William depicts his extraordinary life. Critics can pan the book all they like, but the book has been a New York Times bestseller, and it has been endorsed by numerous celebrities and physicians.

I found William’s bizarre gift and upbringing fascinating, but I won’t give away any spoilers, so I’ll leave it at that. 

However, I won’t be spoiling anything by discussing one of William’s self-help chapters about angels. 

I haven’t blogged much about religion, and don’t worry, I’m not about to start doing it now, but I think it’s helpful if I share a few facts. I was born Jewish, but I’m not religious and I didn’t attend Hebrew school. I believe there is a higher power, which technically makes me agnostic, a word that sounds as cool as “moist” or “constipated.”

I’ve never been into angels unless they were attached to “food cakes,” but after reading William’s information about praying to obscure angels, I was intrigued. His instructions were easy, free and seemed harmless. I decided to try out his suggestions, but I was skeptical.

In chapter twenty-three, Essential Angels, William writes about different angels including a group he calls the Unknown Angels. These are not the “superstar” angels like Archangel Gabriel and Archangel Michael that even this agnostic knows about. The Unknown Angels are the unsung angels that don’t have specific names, and there are many of them – we’re talking thousands.

Williams asserts that the Unknown Angels are some of the most powerful angels around, but they are the least in demand, and they are “eager for the chance to work on us.”  

The catch to this exercise is that if you decide to appeal to these angels, you need to ask for their help out loud. I keep it super-simple, i.e. “Hi Unknown Angels, can you please help me with  XYZ – thank you!” If you’re deaf, have a speech impairment, or are too weak to speak, William suggests using sign language or your thoughts to ask the Angel of Deliverance, who will “express your soul’s wishes to the other angels.” (To those muttering non-angelic words right now, I beseech you to roll with this!)

Also, I encourage you to read this chapter in its entirety, as I’m leaving out 95%, but I’m sharing the bare minimum that has helped me.

This information might sound hippie-dippie or not jibe with your religious beliefs. But after I self-consciously uttered a prayer about a problem that was promptly and unexpectedly solved, I wasn’t so cynical. At the very least, talking to the Unknown Angels has gotten me out of my usual loop of negative thoughts, and I like how that feels.

My prayers to the Unknown Angels aren’t always answered or answered exactly the way I want them. Still, I’m getting results that convince me to appeal to these mysterious Unknown Angels, especially when I pray during moments when I’m totally stressing out.

Sometimes this lovely meme’s concept simply isn’t possible, i.e. Thanksgiving dinner. I’m a sucker for a cute animal meme, so I’m using it anyway!

The placebo effect could definitely play a part in some of my prayer successes – I don’t know, and frankly it doesn’t matter. I’m just grateful to have this option because the act of doing it seems to reduce my anxiety. I don’t feel so alone with my problem, be it great (worry about the health of a loved one) or small. (I’m too embarrassed to admit my small prayers, but they might be about things such as finding a parking spot or landing a hard-to-find child’s Halloween costume. Maybe.)

While writing this post, I visited Anthony William’s blog and found a post about Life-Changing Angels, the twelve female angels (go Girl Power!) discussed in his second book Life-Changing Foods: Save Yourself And The Ones You Love With The Hidden Healing Powers Of Fruits And Vegetables. I don’t want to overwhelm you, but you might want to take a peek at that post.

If this topic sounds remotely interesting, please check out William’s book at your library, or splurge – it’s not cheap (even for the Kindle version) hovering around $15.00, so the library might be your best bet.

I’d love to know if you try reaching out to the Unknown Angels and what happens…

Until next week, please take good care of yourselves. I send you lots of love and strength to get through these challenging holidays!

Love,

Dyane

 

Dyane’s memoir Birth of a New Brain – Healing from Postpartum Bipolar Disorder with a foreword by Dr. Carol Henshaw (co-author of The Modern Management of Perinatal Psychiatry) will be published by Post Hill Press in October 2017.