My “Placeholder” Friday Post

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Hi everyone!  I hope your Friday (and for some of my Aussie/NZ friends, your Saturday) is going well.

Last month I vowed to blog Monday, Wednesday, and Fridays instead of publishing daily posts as I had been doing for the previous four months. I thought it would be much much easier to blog less often than every single day – wouldn’t you think the same thing? 😉 Well, ironically, it has been harder for me to write the less I write – if I don’t prime my “writing pump” each day, it gets stopped up. My favorite author Madeleine L’Engle’s advice was to write for a minimum of thirty minutes a day, and she’d be shaking her head at silly me for breaking her golden rule!

Having my two kids out of school and adjusting to a new schedule with much less free time is reason enough for me to have blogging challenges.  Even so, I was hanging in there with it all and getting a little writing done until a couple days ago.

I don’t have the energy to go into detail about it yet, but I plan on writing about this past week soon. I’m struggling about a extended family situation.  I’m not bottoming out, and I have a solid support system in place, but I’m feeling totally depleted emotionally and physically all the same.  My counselor has helped me out a great deal.  I have my furry antidepressant Lucy by my side, which is such a comfort, but neither my therapist or Lucy have magical powers to ameliorate the shitty thing that has been going on.

Over the past two days in particular I’ve been incredibly sad about this heartbreaking dilemma.  It’s something that’s impossible for me to fix.  While yes, I can change the way I react to what’s happening, it’s not so simple as it sounds.  It’s a totally complex and unfair dilemma.  I need to be strong and have faith that I will get through all this in one piece and life will get a little easier.

So if you’re into praying, please pray for me & my family!

Due to all that stuff, I wasn’t going to write today, but it feels good to just come up with a few paragraphs.  In order to relax from the sorrow I’ve been feeling, I’ve been treating myself to some creature comforts.  Some aren’t so great (i.e. gelato and chocolate chip cookies…and I don’t stop at a single scoop or one cookie!) but other treats are calorie-free, thank God.

I bought a couple books on my Kindle.  Knowing I have my books at the ready wherever I go is a Godsend.  I gravitate to certain types of books when I’m really bummed out, such as memoirs of people who really have it bad.  Their stories help me to put my life into perspective.  I bought “Why Did She Jump?” by Joan Childs, LCSW, a book that I’ve heard about for months and it was finally published this week.  Its theme is really heavy as the title implies, but it’s interesting, especially as the family depicted in this book are Jewish and Judaism is my cultural heritage.

Here’s the Amazon description:

Six million people in America suffer from bipolar disorder. Joan Child’s daughter, Pamela, suffered from the disorder, bouncing from doctor to doctor in search of treatment. Yet the demons became louder, and on a summer day in July 1998, the same day that the Oprah Winfrey Show aired a segment on bipolar disorder, Joan Childs’ 34-year-old-daughter leaped to her death from the window of her father’s 15-story apartment. Why Did She Jump? is her mother Joan’s haunting story of grief and guilt, yet it is a beautiful story of love and the courage to find peace and purpose once again.

With brutal honesty and vivid detail, Joan recalls how the entire family became entangled with Pam’s illness as they watched her dive deeper into the darkness where no one could reach her. Ironically, Pam and Joan were both psychotherapists yet, with all their credentials and medical knowledge, Pam still could not be saved.  Why Did She Jump? masterfully looks back even as it looks forward. Written with vivid memories of Pamela’s troubled yet loving life and the final days of her funeral and shiva (a seven-day mourning period in Judaism), the story will break your heart and then mend it again.

I also bought Australian singing legend Kate Ceberano’s long-awaited memoir “I’m Talking: My Life, My Words, My Music”.  I’ve heard of Kate Ceberano for years, but I’m actually not even familiar with her music!  I just love reading books about famous musicians, with a special weakness for New Zealand and Australian performers.  I downloaded Ceberano’s book’s sample and I really enjoyed reading it, so I completely splurged (I don’t even want to tell you how much it was!) and I bought her book.  Here’s the description:

For the first time, Kate Ceberano, one of Australia’s best-loved entertainers, shares her story.

In her own unmistakeable voice, Kate Ceberano takes us on a very personal journey from her suburban childhood, her immersion in the Melbourne club scene of the eighties and her rise to stardom at the age of fourteen when she fronted the wildly popular funk bank I?m Talking, to the life of a female performer and recording artist in London, Los Angeles and New York.

With parallel careers as a pop and jazz singer and songwriter, Kate has received the highest awards in the Australian music industry including the ARIA for Best Female Artist. She has delighted audiences in Harry M. Miller’s hugely successful Jesus Christ Superstar, won a legion of fans when she won Dancing with the Stars, and made a triumphant debut for Opera Australia in South Pacific. Now she reveals, for the first time, just what that was like.

People have been talking about Kate Ceberano since she was a teenager: Hugh Jackman described her as having ‘truly one of the great voices this country has produced’; for Rolling Stone she is ‘pure, soulful and powerful’. Now Kate is talking for herself.  Accompanied by never before seen photos.

So that’s what’s going on with me.  Please forgive me for typos and/or syntax errors – I usually wait a day before publishing a post because there are always, always errors to fix and ways to tighten up and improve even a measly few paragraphs!  I’ve heard this time and time again from other writers so it’s nice to know it’s not just me.

On a brighter note, I’ve gotten some fantastic comments this week on my blog – thank you so much!!!  I haven’t been able to reply to most of them yet, but I will once I recharge a bit.  In the meantime, thank you for reading this, and thanks to those of you who have been so kind and encouraging about my writing.  It means the absolute world to me.

take care,

Dyane

 

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