A Happy *Tail* of Delurking

looovlooooov

 

Yesterday I was high on puppy.  I know that sounds silly, but I really was.  And guess what?

I still am!

Nevermind the fact that Lucy woke me up with a whimper at 4:00 a.m., and I never got back to sleep.  I’m wiped out, but I’m still high on this furry bundle of joy.  It’s also a pleasure that many of my blogosphere friends have been encouraging about the addition of  this “fur child”.  

Yesterday six-year-old Marilla narrated a twenty-second video about Lucy that I’d love for you to watch – you can find it here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UaGUX129lYs&feature=youtu.be

I’m telling you, yesterday I felt so intoxicated about our puppy that out of the blue, a 1980 Stephanie Mills song started playing in my brain.  I felt compelled to find the video. Remember that song  “Never Knew Love Like This Before”?  Watch this and you can let it creep around your brain & drive you a little nuts too:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FLbC0dRIjX0

Apart from my happiness while enjoying my first full day with Lucy, I had an unexpected incident occur with my Mom.

Ever since I started “Birth of a New Brain”, I didn’t share my blog with my mother in case I’d offend her.  I definitely didn’t want to censor my writing – the whole point of blogging was to freely express what I felt.  I certainly wasn’t out to defame my family, but I wanted to write about my experience growing up with a father with manic depression, and occasionally examine my relationship with Mom.  I could have blogged anonymously, but that didn’t appeal to me.  

From my first post on, I doubted that Mom would locate my blog.  She has admitted repeatedly that she’s not the savviest Grandma on the block when it comes to computers, and that fact kept my fears at bay.  However, I wasn’t completely naive; I knew that according to Murphy’s Law, she would most likely encounter my blog in spite of her being a luddite.   In my heart, I knew it was only a matter of time until Mom found my blog.  

So yesterday my mother, who lives far away, called me to discuss how Lucy was doing on her first day with us. Mom is a dog lover of the highest degree, and she fully understood the significance of bringing a puppy into our household.   We were having a very upbeat, positive conversation.  

Then, quite casually she murmured, “I’ve read your blog.”

I gulped.  My heart sank and I prepared myself to be chewed out for blogging about family matters, namely about her, and she was not always depicted in the best light.

“Oh really?” I said meekly.  “What do you think?” I asked, not really wanting to know the answer.

To my shock and delight, she told me in her proudest tone of voice, “You are a Writer!”  Fortunately, we didn’t get into detail about my blog topics, but she addressed one issue.  She said, “I’m a little concerned….”  

This laconic reaction is too good to be true.  I thought. Now she’s going to flip out! 

“You wrote something about drinking too much coffee, and I want you to be careful with that…” she said.

“Oh, yes,” I chucked.  “You’re right. I have been drinking too much coffee and I plan on cutting down.”  

In the past Mom and I have butted horns about many things.  One sore point between us was my writing.  I am drawn to writing non-fiction, and I’ve always been that way.  However, she saw me as a fiction writer, which has never been my interest nor my forte.  

So, at the close of our conversation, when my mother said to me “I can see you writing both fiction and non-fiction.” that was high praise.  While I felt supremely good at her reaction, I also was unnerved to be “out” with my Mom about my blog.  I wondered how restricted I would feel from now on.

I knew I’d figure out a way to come to terms with this situation.  If I have to tweak some lines or subjects here or there, it’s not the end of the world.  What matters most is that I appreciated the fact that she delurked, and for the manner in which she calmly revealed herself as a reader.

I can see the appeal of being a lurker, although I’ve only lurked a couple times.  When you’re lurking on a close family member’s blog, that’s a cat of a different color.  Or a puppy of a different coat? (See how tipsy I am on this Lucy???!!!)

When I write future posts that may affect my Mom, the most compassionate thing for me to do is to check in with her about the topic and go from there.  No blog post is worth causing her pain.  

My Mom influenced me to be a reader, as well as a writer and lover of the fine arts.  Now that she has delurked, and I’ve outed her as well, I hope that she’ll consider commenting if she feels inspired to do so, because she’s a wonderful writer.  Furthermore, she approaches a certain decade (I’m not naming it!) she has an incredible wealth of wisdom which would lend her comments weight. 

While Mom and I have shared many hard times, she’s a part of me and I don’t want to forget that.  It’s fitting that I write about her today, as it would have been her 45th wedding anniversary with my Dad.  Perhaps he played a hand in her positive attitude towards my blog.  I believe that we all get help from the unseen world once in a while.  

In any case, I am honored to write this blog, I’m thrilled that you are reading it, and if you’re a lurker, I invite you to delurk — if not here, why not delurk on another blog?  I think it’s safe to say that most of us bloggers write for the feedback and the “likes”.  If we didn’t yearn for that give-and-take, then I believe we’d stick to private journals for the most part.

Thanks for reading, friends!

Lucy’s Human Mom

 

Furry SiblingsLucy’s Furry SiblingsMom Layla & DadHere’s Lucy’s mom Layla on the left, and her dad Aztlan is on the right.  The father is the spitting image of my dog Tara who I had for fifteen years.