Hell in Paradise-Part 1/Sorry to Confuse!

Hope this brief video of me and Lucy makes sense! I’m sorry that yesterday’s 300th post was confusing. I created my WordPress blog in 2008. I only wrote three posts and then I became too depressed to write. I didn’t blog again until 2011. Once again, I wrote a couple posts and took yet another depression-related hiatus. 

I returned to blogging in December, 2013. Three time’s truly the charm…I was able to stick with it! Yesterday’s 300th post was a revised version of my very 1st blog post that I published in December, 2013. Today’s post is a revision of post #2. I’ll be publishing a couple more revised posts to complete the story. If you understand this, you get an A+! 😉 Thanks so much for reading and for your comments – I hope that you have a great day! Dyane

Hell in Paradise – Part One: Tsunamis of the Heart and Land

Our November, 2013 family trip to Kona, Hawaii was significant for several reasons.  The first reason was that we had to postpone the trip three times due to my summer hospitalizations for a bipolar depression relapse. The relapse occurred while I was tapering off lithium. I became manic and then went in the opposite direction, down to the very bottom of hopelessness.  

The second reason was that my mother-in-law had passed away a few months prior to our trip. We wanted to bring her ashes to Kona. She worked in the Kona area for over a decade, and it held a special place in her heart.

A week before we took off for Hawaii, my Parnate “miracle” had stopped working, and my bipolar depression returned. I couldn’t help but note the irony of the situation: here I was, about to visit one of the most magnificent places on Earth, and I was depressed yet again.

Once we settled in our rental in Holualoa, Kona I did some internet research. I found that some people took larger doses of Parnate than I was taking – up to twice as much.  I was able to get ahold of Dr. D. while we were there. 

(A sidenote: Holualoa means “long sled run” and is a fitting description of where we stayed.  We were located in the Kona coffee region and our rental was a stunning coffee farm high above the coast.)

Anyway, I asked Dr. D. if I could raise the Parnate up 10 mg for a total of 40 mg a day.  He gave me his go-ahead.  It turned out the dosage made me feel much worse.  I had terrible form of agitated insomnia.  

The eighteen wild turkeys who roamed the coffee plantation were noisy each night. While their gobbling sounds were cute during the day, they kept me awake and were anything but charming at night.  There were also plenty of tropical birds who loved to chirp the night away.

Meanwhile, my depression wasn’t going anywhere.  I returned to 30 mg of Parnate/day.

I knew I should’ve felt grateful for being in Hawaii. The fact that I felt so bad did nothing to assuage my guilt.   My brain synapses, which had been working so well at the beginning of the month, were stuck in a morass once again.  

I couldn’t think of anything to say to anyone during the long car trips we took around the island.  I couldn’t escape with a good book, which to me was pure torture.  

When I started taking Parnate I stopped drinking alcohol cold-turkey, as alcohol is a deadly mix with this MAOI medication, so I couldn’t turn to margaritas to relax.  (And that was a very good thing that I couldn’t drink my blues away!) 

Although I went for a thirty-minute walk amongst the coffee trees each morning, I ate tons of unhealthy treats such as chocolate-covered macadamia nuts and Kona coffee ice cream. During some fleeting moments, I was able to appreciate the grandeur of the island. I noticed my girls’ joyful laughter when they went boogie boarding, but still…I wanted a do-over!

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This photo of our girls was taken on Hilo’s beach on the Big Island.  We visited Hilo twice during our trip. Due to its history of deadly tsunamis, Hilo was particularly significant to me.

Ever since I was a little girl growing up in Los Angeles, I was very aware of the existence of tsunamis.  I asked my father if a tsunami could ever reach our home that was perched on the edge of the deep Las Pulgas Canyon near the ocean. He told me repeatedly that we would be safe, but deep down I didn’t believe him.

I had recurring tsunami dreams despite my Dad’s reassurance.  When I was older, I pored over books about tsunami history and I watched documentaries about these terrifying “harbor waves” (Tsunami means harbor wave in Japanese). I was so fascinated and obsessed by this topic that sometimes I wondered whether I died in a tsunami in a past life!

When I moved to Santa Cruz and experienced the 1989 Loma Prieta earthquake, I was so terrified that I forgot about all my tsunami lore and  did the worst thing possible in a tsunami zone – I sprinted to West Cliff Drive which overlooked the ocean. This scenic road (which is shown during the opening credits of the film The Lost Boys) was two blocks away from my apartment. I ran out of the building as soon as the first tremor ended.  I felt drawn to the sea instead of safer, higher ground.

If there *had* been a tsunami, I would have been toast! 

While in Hilo the first time, we visited one of its main beaches.  Most of the Hilo beaches are nowhere as gorgeous as the beaches on the other side of the Big Island, but their warm water temperatures are awesome.

I felt so down that I didn’t even put on my brand-new, shimmery blue Speedo suit. I plopped down on the sand while my girls and husband frolicked in the water. It struck me that I was sitting in the very spot where the devastating 1946 and 1960 tsunamis had blasted in. I became morbid, thinking that maybe it would be okay to die in tsunami after all, since I had lost hope that my depression would lift.

I continued ruminating how people must have died in the very place where I was sitting.  I’ve known for years that Hilo was the home of the Pacific Tsunami Museum, but I never thought I would have the opportunity to visit it.  The first time we went to Hilo I was so apathetic and depressed that I told my husband we didn’t have to check out the museum.  He was surprised, to say the least, as he was well-acquainted with my tsunami obsession. He had plenty of times to hear about it during our fifteen-year-long relationship.

When we returned to Hilo a second time, it seemed ridiculous not to visit the Tsunami Museum, so off we went.  I didn’t think our girls would be interested in the subject. Moreover, I was concerned the Pacific Tsunami Museum might be too scary for them, but fortunately they were up for the visit.

A spirited retired docent who had been an elementary school principal spent time with the girls.  She showed them kid-friendly exhibits about the science of earthquakes and waves. I shuffled around the rest of the museum, scared to make eye contact with anyone, wishing a wave would swallow me up then and there.  

Update 9/23/15: Now that I’m doing well, I hope and pray that there won’t be any tsunamis in our area anytime soon! There was a tsunami in our harbor in 2011, but luckily I was high up in the Santa Cruz Mountains, safe and sound.

How did I get better? I promise to reveal more in the next installment.

To be continued…

Dyane Leshin-Harwood’s memoir Birth of a New Brain – Healing from Postpartum Bipolar Disorder with a foreword by Dr. Walker Karraa (author of the acclaimed Transformed by Postpartum Depression: Women’s Stories of Trauma and Growth) will be published by Post Hill Press next year.  

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When A Member of Our Tribe Disappoints Us

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Six months ago I had a disappointing experience with another blogger who has bipolar disorder.  I’m curious if any of you have ever experienced a similar situation. Although I no longer think often about what happened, it still comes up, which I’ll explain towards the end of this vent post.

 

The X File

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By glancing at X’s cheerful Gravatar image, one would think this self-proclaimed bipolar advocate is positive and kind. And yes, X seemingly does possess these attributes through interactions with Twitter followers, but X has not been kind to me.

Everything I’m about to explain stems from one Twitter exchange. 

I tweeted X. I asked her to please retweet my blog post link. X was retweeting tweets of every subject imaginable to our “tribe” so I didn’t think twice about asking her. I liked what she was doing and thought she was a kindred spirit.

I assumed that as a bipolar disorder advocate she’d want to help me.  Other reputable people and organizations retweeted my link, so I wasn’t asking her to tweet something unethical like a nude line dancing website or anything like that.

She didn’t help me. When I messaged her about it, her reply was odd. I sensed something was off and I was upset about the exchange because I’m too sensitive.

Some of you may be thinking, 

Dyane, it has been six months! Let this silly Twitter thing go – it’s not worth your time! And this is a boring post – c’mon, why don’t you write about a real drama queen-type of situation? Like nude line dancing!  Jazz it up!

Well, my lovely readers, I was beginning to let the X-change go because hey – I’m busy. I facilitate a free support group, I’m running a Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA) Chapter, and most importantly, I have two kids, a husband and Miss Lucy Collie to care for. I’m also completing my manuscript, doing laundry, cleaning, working out, and eating too much gelato.

In her own unique way, X was encouraging me to “let go”of her as X blocked me from her Twitter account! Her blocking threw me off — it bummed me out. For you fellow Twitteraddicts,it’s one thing to mute someone; it’s something totally different to block.

In my classic paranoid fashion, I  started thinking that I did something wrong. I cringe while typing this, but here goes: I emailed X an apology for anything I wrote that may have offended her. I added that I’d gladly tweet her causes whenever she asked me for help. Sure, I did nothing wrong, but I apologized nevertheless. Ugh.

I didn’t receive a response.

Then things got strange.

After blocking me from her Twitter account, X started following my blog.  

Then X started “liking” my blog posts.

I wondered if X was liking my posts in hopes of my followers spotting her Gravatar so they’d be attracted to her blog. Who knows?

Does it matter in the big picture of worldly events?

NOPE!

However, I couldn’t help but wonder if X is doing strange behavior to other well-meaning people.

What I describe between me and X is superficial, but it’s still disappointing. I’ve had nothing but positive experiences with WordPress and Twitter until this occurred.

As X continues to virtually network and earn the trust of strangers vulnerable with mood disorders, it disturbs me that she’s playing these passive/aggressive games.

Obviously X is not doing well. I can guess that she needs much more support than she’s getting. She’s fixating on helping others, yet she’s not dealing with her own bipolar disorder. I’ve seen this happen with others, namely a former close friend, and she wound up relapsing. Hopefully someone close to X is aware of how she’s doing and is getting her the help she needs.

All this stuff got me really freaked out for a while. I obsessed about it because I’ve always been insecure. I also think it’s a form of self-sabotage. I stop focusing upon and acting upon the REALLY important things in my life.

To use a cheesy phrase, I’m sweating the small stuff so badly that I start to drown in rivers of funky sweat. This reaction helps no one. Since I’m finally in a position to help others, i.e. my family, the support group, the book, I’m stopping this pattern. Now.

At this point, there’s nothing I can do with X except show compassion towards her. It wasn’t easy for me to do that when her Gravatar popped up on my post about my brother-in-law’s death, but whatever. I took a deep breath and went on with my day. 

Even though this type of life lesson is NOT fun, I’ve learned from it. So here’s what I’m taking away from the X File incident apart from working on being compassionate:

I want to grow a thicker skin.

I need to not try so hard to make things okay when it’s apparent that the other person has problems I can’t fix. (I’m sure there’s more.)

I’m incredibly fortunate to have the support system of my family, my counselor/pdoc and YOU – the blogosphere!

Thanks for reading, my friends. I appreciate each one of you!

Xo,

Dyane

Dyane Leshin-Harwood’s memoir Birth of a New Brain – Healing from Postpartum Bipolar Disorder with a foreword by Dr. Walker Karraa (author of the acclaimed Transformed by Postpartum Depression: Women’s Stories of Trauma and Growth) will be published by Post Hill Press next year.  

 

Tired

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This blurry picture was taken with my ancient cell phone minutes before The Stinging occurred this afternoon

 

I’m tired.

Being around grief is draining. My husband’s only brother has been gone for less than two weeks, so his death is still very recent and shocking. I’m profoundly thankful that I’m not the one in deep grief, but it’s still challenging being around it. It’s not just tough on me; it’s hard on our two young girls, but the cliche “children are resilient” seems to ring true with them. They’ve been through far worse during the many times I was incapacitated with bipolar depression and when I was away in the hospital seven times for bipolar disorder. They’re keeping busy with school, ballet, The SpongeBob Lama and lest we forget, My Little Pony. (They’ll deny watching that, but they can’t resist watching those freaky, perky ponies prance about.)

Apart from the sadness, the fall is my absolute favorite time of year. I love autumn, and I love Halloween! (It’s my favorite holiday.) October is a powerful, weird, symbolic time as I was married in October of 2001 and I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in October, 2007. I just read on Therese Borchard’s blog Beyond Blue that fall can create excessive anxiety for people and that made me pause…it seems to be a very activating time in many kinds of ways, both good and yuck.

Speaking of anxiety, I experienced some of it this afternoon while relaxing on the deck with Lucy. This wacky collie (who has the one of the thickest coats you can imagine – it’s layer-upon-layer of softness) loves sitting in the sun whether it’s a mild 65 degrees or last week’s heat wave of 101+!  

I saw a bee flying around her and I gently waved it away, thinking nothing of it. We don’t have that many bees around here and I thought the bee flew off on its merry way. I proceeded to pet Lucy’s fluffy side and BOOYA!

Unbeknownst to me, the bee returned to burrow in Lucy’s honey-colored coat and it stung the side of my right hand. I thought I had a fairly high toleration for pain, but damn, it hurt! This was one big bee. I hadn’t been stung since I was a kid. Luckily I’m not allergic to bee stings or else it could have been a very scary situation. One of the first books I ever read was about a child who dies from a bee sting – talk about giving one a bee phobia, which is technically called melissophobia. I put ice on the swollen spot, which helped a lot, and then I followed up with calamine lotion. 

That was my excitement for the day!

Unfortunately this post isn’t too exciting, but I like to check in once a week on Thursdays or Fridays. I feel really off if I don’t post 1X/week. I even get a bit paranoid that if I start skipping my habit I’ll get lax about blogging and give it up. Ye olde black and white thinking! Perish that thought!

It’s okay if posts aren’t always Fresh Pressed-caliber, right? 😉 (By the way, I’m losing respect for F.P. – I can write about that another time, but for now let me just state for there record that I was shocked and disappointed that WordPress editors didn’t publish anything about World Suicide Prevention Day/suicide-related! Like we really need another post about paleo nutrition instead. Shameful!)

On a separate note, I want to apologize to some of you who commented on my last post about skipping my brother-in-law’s memorial and feeling hugely guilty about that. I wasn’t able to reply to everyone, and I took down the post to honor Craig’s wishes – he never read it because he never reads this blog, but a few nights ago he asked me if I wrote about his brother’s death. Before he could even finish his sentence I blurted out “I did write about it and I’ll take it down.” I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable, and I could tell he wanted me to refrain from posting lots of Don-related stuff. I had absolutely no problem taking it down, but I didn’t get a chance to reply to Just Plain ‘Ol Vic, Kitt O’Malley, Blahpolar and Socialworker Angela

Thanks again for your wonderful comments – they really, really helped me because, as you know, I felt like shit about the whole thing. It was a wonderful case of the blogosphere coming to me at my time of need. I only had that post up for less than a day and I got immediate, high-quality support. That, my friends, is what I love about blogging. To have bloggers who take the time to share their insights and encouragement makes me want to stay connected with the blogosphere forever. 

I’m going to go drag my sorry butt to my elliptical machine because it really does help keep my evil bipolar depression at bay. I still have the Seroquel spider belly, but as soon as I stop inhaling a pint of gelato every day and drink more water, it’ll start to shrink.  I’ll keep you posted on that. 🙂

I wish you a wonderful week ahead!

XOXOXO

Dyane

Dyane’s memoir Birth of a New Brain – Healing from Postpartum Bipolar Disorder with a foreword by Dr. Walker Karraa (author of the acclaimed Transformed by Postpartum Depression: Women’s Stories of Trauma and Growth) will be published by Post Hill Press next year.

A Scary Leap: Writing Group with Bestselling Author Laura Davis

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Laura Davis

This Thursday I’m taking an emotional and financial risk, but it feels right & I’m excited!

(And scared.)

After winning a scholarship for the Catamaran Writing Conference, I participated in a creative nonfiction workshop in August. The twelve-hour-long class was taught by Frances Lefkowitz, author of the acclaimed memoir To Have Not. As helpful as the class was, it wasn’t enough!

I wanted more…I craved more of the teacher’s wisdom, I wanted more feedback from her and from my classmates.

I learned that listening to others’ feedback they received from our teacher and the class was valuable unto itself.

So to sum up, I wanted the ongoing guidance and the encouragement of a master teacher, and feedback from a group of likeminded writers, but I didn’t think it could happen in my hometown.

Then I got a sign from the Universe!

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The sign occurred at Coffee 9, one of my favorite places. Coffee 9 is where I’ve imbibed countless extra-chocolate, triple shot mochas and gotten to know some colorful locals like “Writing Matt”. 

A few weeks ago while stumbling, uncaffeinated, into Coffee 9 I spotted local bestselling author Laura Davis’ writing class flyer on their bulletin board.

Almost a decade ago, I bought Laura’s bestselling book Becoming the Parent You Want to Be (co-authored with Janis Keyser) back when my little girls couldn’t talk back to me. Ah, those were the days.

Little did I know I’d be speaking with this famous author years later after I was diagnosed with postpartum bipolar disorder  – and it wasn’t a meet n’ greet at one of her packed book signings  but about singing up for her writing course.

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During the two decades I’ve lived in this area, I’ve noticed Laura’s flyers posted at different coffee shops. (As you probably know by now, I love supporting local business if caffeine and chocolate are involved!) Sometimes I looked at her flyer wistfully, but deep down I never thought a writing class was for me for various reasons.

Laziness.

Bipolar depression.

I didn’t think I was “worth” the money necessary to join such an extravagant-sounding class, even though my freelance articles had been published regionally and nationally, and I had landed my first book deal.

In any case, I believed that I needed to tough it out by writing alone.

I resigned myself to continue feeling mediocre about my writing, and that constantly bugged me.

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Although I suspected I had the potential to be a better writer, I didn’t think I was worth the investment. Now that I have a deadline for my second book deal (and I don’t want it to go south like the first one did), I think I’m worth the investment.

After speaking with Laura, I liked what she said and how she said it. (As the daughter of a speech pathologist, voices are especially significant to me.) I was also impressed and moved with what Laura had to say on the YouTube clip I include here. I also listened to Laura’s free, one-hour-long writing teleseminar (you can sign up for it on her website) and I found it helpful and inspiring.

Laura Davis’ Statement #1

 

My first class is tomorrow, and I’ll let you know how it goes!!  As Laura asks all attendees to respect the confidentiality of group members & their writing, I’ll only write about my own experience…I’d never want to break that rule!

Have a great weekend & I’ll see you next Thursday.

XoXO Dyane

p.s. some tidbits

Dyane’s Class Description: Feedback Class on Writing Projects of Your Choice

(It’s not too late to join me!)

These ongoing classes, designed for students who are already deeply grounded in writing practice, gives writers a chance to make progress on a focused project of their choice. Each week, the writers in Laura’s feedback classes sign up to get the suggestions and support from the group, whose role is to respond to the writing with editing and encouragement, to hold “each other’s feet to the fire,” and to help everyone in the group reach their personal writing goals. Some group members are working on articles, others on memoirs, novels, short stories, or non-fiction books.

Ira Progroff calls writing, “this solitary work we cannot do alone.” These classes provide the support necessary to persevere in creative work.

Students wanting to move into one of these classes must have a personal consultation with Laura to discuss their writing goals. Prior writing practice experience required. Admission to these classes occurs whenever there is an opening; admissions are on a rolling basis. Contact Laura to ask about openings and to agree on a start date.  

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If you can’t join me here in Santa Cruz for Laura’s class, she has a free, weekly writing prompt you can sign up for – please visit:

http://lauradavis.net/category/prompts/

http://lauradavis.net

Follow Laura Davis on Twitter: @laurasaridavis

Other groundbreaking Laura Davis books include:

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Dyane’s  book Birth of a New Brain – Healing from Postpartum Bipolar Disorder  with a foreword by Dr. Walker Karraa (Transformed by Postpartum Depression: Women’s Stories of Trauma of Growth) will be published by Post Hill Press next year.

Catamaran Writers Conference Gems

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Catamaran Attendees at the Tor House, Carmel, California, home of the renowned poet Robinson Jeffers

While at the 2015 Catamaran Writers Conference in Pebble Beach, I met so many talented writers, poets, editors, publishers, agents, aliens (just kidding) that I was overwhelmed, but in a good way!

Now I understand why people love going to these conferences. You become immersed in a creative energy field, plus you don’t have to cook, wash dishes or do laundry. Or deal with fighting siblings or a snotty partner!

I’d like to share these special people and resources with you. One of them may lead you to a great book, a conference, a poetry collection, landing your own book deal…who knows? 

From my Creative Nonfiction Class with Frances Lefkowitz:

  1. Frances Lefkowitz’s highly acclaimed memoir To Have Not about growing up poor in San Francisco is one of the best memoirs I’ve read. Meeting her in person, being her student and receiving her feedback and encouragement was almost better than chocolate. (Frances, chocolate is to me what a cute pair of shoes is to you! 😉  Visit her awesome website to learn about Frances’ upcoming workshops, writing/editing services & to read her blog.
  2. Rayne Wolfe, a fellow classmates, has an incredible resume. Her book Toxic Mom Toolkit is a bestseller and it has spurred a very active Facebook community. Rayne works as a journalist and has written for none other than the New York Times. She’s a writing coach, media source and guest speaker. Visit Rayne’s Facebook page (Toxic Mom Toolkit) to keep posted of her upcoming book (I can’t wait to buy it!) and her blog: http://toxicmomtoolkit.com 
  3. Annie Dawid is another talented classmate (hey, my class was 100% packed with talent! 😉 and a prolific author, artist, and writing teacher. Annie has had several books published, and her upcoming book Paradise Undone: A Novel of Jonestown is sure to be riveting. Learn more about Annie at http://www.anniedawid.com

During one of our yummy meals I met two fascinating women who teach in my hometown. 

Helene Simkin Jara of helenesimkinjara.com is an actor, director and author. Her book Because I Had To is a Kindle bestseller. Her upcoming book consists of 96 interviews from women and men about childhood experiences with dolls; some are funny, many are terrifying, some are poignant. Some experiences occure in orphanages in Switzerland and Korea; takes place during the Holocaust.  It’s a peek into people’s lives with dolls as the catalyst. Her book sounds extraordinary. Check out her website for the details.

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Dr. Adela Najarro of http://www.adelanajarro.com immediately set me at ease. She invited me to practice my publicity pitch with her about my book Birth of a New Brain – Healing from Postpartum Bipolar Disorder. Adela pretended that she was an independent bookseller and I “met” with her to promote my book. 🙂 Like everyone at the conference, she’s multitalented – she’s a poet, published author and creative writing instructor at Cabrillo College. I wish I had her as my teacher when I went to school!

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Our lecturers made a big impression upon me. Two of my faves were:

Michael Larsen, literary agent and co-founder of the famed San Francisco Writers Conference in 2016 and the San Francisco Writing for Change Conference coming up very soon on September 12, 2015. I seized the opportunity to meet with Michael for a half an hour. We discussed my book Birth of a New Brain and he inspired me, gave me a bunch of great ideas, and listened. It didn’t hurt that he had one of the best senses of humor around. To get to know Michael visit his blog http://sfwriters.org/blog/

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Development editor/publishing consultant Heather Lazare gave an illuminating presentation. She explained how the New York editing scene worked, and much more. Heather has a comprehensive website and if you’re a fiction writer I suggest checking out her Northern California Writer’s Retreat she co-founded with literary agent Chelsea Lindman. It’s coming up in 2016 – I wish Heather and Chelsea would offer a nonfiction version, hint hint!  

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Chicago Quarterly Review

(How cool & lovely is this collie on the cover? Doesn’t she look like Lucy?)

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I was honored to meet Syed Haider, the founder of this highly respected nonprofit literary journal and author of To Be With Her. Syed was so kind to me and we had some wonderful talks at mealtimes. If you’re a writer, I encourage you to look at the website’s submission guidelines and send the Chicago Quarterly Review your work – they consider virtually all forms of writing. If published, you can be tremendously proud to be a part of this literary tradition.

Finally, I must mention the beautifully produced

Catamaran Literary Reader

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Catamaran conference attendees were given swag bags upon check-in, which was a lovely way to start the conference. We received a copy of the latest issue of the Catamaran Literary Reader.

While at the dentist last Saturday for four hours (without WiFi or a smart phone) last week, I thank God that I brought my Catamaran issue. I leisurely enjoyed every page – I had the time! I was very impressed with this notable local publication founded by visual artist/writer/creative visionary Catherine Segurson.  

As someone who has lived on the West Coast of California for forty-five years, I particularly love Catamaran’s tagline: “West Coast Themes – Writers and Artists from Everywhere”.

Thanks for reading!  Please share if you dare! 😉

with love,

Dyane

 

 

 

 

“Just The Way You Are”- Dyane Serenades Lucy the Collie

 

I can’t thank you enough for the comments regarding yesterday’s post “Just When Things Are Getting Better, Here Comes Death”. I’ll respond to them over the next couple days. 

This morning, unexpectedly alone in the house with Miss Lucy, I decided to record a tidbit to share with you. Annie at Gentle Kindness encouraged me to share anything Lucy-related; she understands how important our animal friends are. 

I felt a Billy Joel love song was fitting for my sweet furry beast. I was a Billy Joel fan at a young age, and listened to his Glass Houses album incessantly. I was thrilled that the producers of “Bosom Buddies”, one of my favorite TV shows, used Billy Joel’s “My Life” as its theme song.

My Mom loves the Billy Joel classic “Just The Way You Are” and I do too, even though it’s schmaltzy. When I was ten-years-old and learning how to play piano, I could only play the first few stanzas of “Just The Way You Are”. I played that bit over and over and over again, which annoyed the shit out of my L.A. Philharmonic violinist father, as you can imagine. 😉

Here I spare you that kind of annoyance; I only sing the first stanza, so this will be brief. I love how Lucy reacts with the longest dog tongue stretch I’ve ever seen (you’ll see) This sweet hound is so tolerant of my off-key attempt to serenade her, not to mention my nasty java breath.

I hope you like this video!

be extra-good to yourselves, and remember I love you just the way you are!

Dyane

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“Just The Way You Are” by Billy Joel

Don’t go changing, to try and please me
You never let me down before
Don’t imagine you’re too familiar
And I don’t see you anymore
I would not leave you in times of trouble
We never could have come this far
I took the good times, I’ll take the bad times
I’ll take you just the way you are
Don’t go trying some new fashion
Don’t change the color of your hair
You always have my unspoken passion
Although I might not seem to care
I don’t want clever conversation
I never want to work that hard
I just want someone that I can talk to
I want you just the way you are.
I need to know that you will always be
The same old someone that I knew
What will it take ‘till you believe in me
The way that I believe in you.
I said I love you and that’s forever
And this I promise from my heart
I couldn’t love you any better
I love you just the way you are.

 

Dyane’s book Birth of a New Brain – Healing from Postpartum Bipolar Disorder with a foreword by Dr. Walker Karraa (Transformed by Postpartum Depression: Women’s Stories of Trauma and Growth) will be published by Post Hill Press in 2017.

 

 

Too Tired to Write…Here’s A Video Check-In!

My Catamaran Writers Conference creative nonfiction class. We were taught by Frances Lefkowitz, an extraordinary instructor/author. Her memoir To Have Not, about growing up poor in San Francisco, is amazing. I’ll be sharing some of my talented classmates’ websites with you next week.

Dyaneclass

 

Dyane’s book Birth of a New Brain – Healing from Postpartum Bipolar Disorder with a foreword by Dr. Walker Karraa (Transformed by Postpartum Depression: Women’s Stories of Trauma and Growth) will be published by Post Hill Press in 2016.