Dy’s Deep Thoughts: Minivan Stick Family Bumper Stickers



Happy 2016!

Welcome to Dy’s Deep Thoughts

Every month I plan on writing about my deep thoughts in the tradition of Saturday Night Live’s Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey. For a glimpse of the Handey thought process, which is about as deep as the edge of a piece of tissue paper, please watch this:

I’ve been meaning to write about stick figure bumper stickers for months, but I kept putting it off as I wasn’t ready to go on record with my innermost feelings.

However, after spending all day Wednesday driving home along busy highways chock full of minivans, I kept spotting these uber-sticky bumperstickers.

It seemed providential that I take some time to share my theory today. 

I admit that this post is quite controversial. Future Dy’s Deep Thoughts pieces won’t be quite as contentious. (At least I think they won’t be.) But seriously, I hope not to offend any of you who happen to own a minivan or a Maserati sporting a stick figure family bumpersticker. I’ll still follow your blog! And I promise to continue liking and commenting on your posts! 

We can agree to disagree just this once. Yes?

My viewpoint is fairly simple. (Which means this post might actually be brief!)

The first time I spotted this:


It seemed like the driver was bragging, i.e.

Oh, look at me – I have this big family; I’m so special. Not to mention I have a Range Rover that’s worth $84,000!!!

The Church Lady said it all:


A more macabre thought came to mind: what if a family that lost a child saw this bumpersticker? Isn’t it heartless to display this image to other drivers who have children who died? I think it’s beyond obnoxious. Eventually I’d come across a minivan that had “R.I.P.” at the top of one of the children stick figures. I felt terrible for them, but I thought it was beautiful that they memorialized their child. That was one bumpersticker I could accept with open arms because of the parents’ wish to always remember their little one.

Apart from a memorial sticker, by now it’s clear that I find this trend to be utterly obnoxious. It turns out that many others agree with me, and there are some hilarious (including some extremely ribald) parodies of these stickers.

For a giggle and to marvel at the creativity that’s out there in the world, I advise that you do a Google image search using terms images of stick figure bumper stickers and  images of zombie stick figure bumper stickers

Recently I wrote about finally watching Game of Thrones as well as discovering the hilarious recap series Gay of Thrones by Jonathan Van Ness. I thought it would be entertaining to create a Game of Thrones-themed stick figure family bumper sticker.

For those of you unfamiliar with the show, Game of Thrones contains graphic, medieval-style scenes in which entire families of various “Houses” are dispatched. But it has appeared that someone else beat me to it! I’ll spare you the gory images – you can find them easily enough on your own…

At least I’m not the only one who feels this way.

images-2I’m pleased that Grumpy Cat and I share the same sentiment!

See you next week when I’ll be writing about subjects such as bipolar disorder and perinatal mental health, but today was the day for a levity break. I hope you all have a good weekend!!!

Love, Dyane

Dyane’s memoir Birth of a New Brain – Healing from Postpartum Bipolar Disorder with a foreword by Dr. Walker Karraa (author of Transformed by Postpartum Depression: Women’s Stories of Trauma and Growth) will be published by Post Hill Press in 2017.



40 thoughts on “Dy’s Deep Thoughts: Minivan Stick Family Bumper Stickers

  1. The only bumper sticker on my 2002 Toyota Sienna minivan is an Each Mind Matters one. My license plate holder does boast that I’m a member of the UC Berkeley alumni. It’s brass (solid) – so fancy.

  2. Two perfectly respectable bumperstickers!!!!!

    I’ve wanted to get a “100% Slug” license plate holder (the banana slug is the mascot for my alma mater U.C. Santa Cruz, as you know!) for ages. Someday I’ll make that dream come true.

    I love you and I was so happy to see you stopped by ye olde blog. I’ll still love you even if you get one of Those bumperstickers, complete with silhouettes of your two giant hounds!

    Happy New Year, my dear friend.

    • Oh good – I want my friends to smile today! (and every day, of course!)
      Sending you hugs, dear Van, and wishing you a happy New Year!

  3. I *knew* you’d appreciate the Grumpy Cat, Lisa! Of course I’d prefer using a picture of your cat, come to think of it! Would I have to pay a modeling fee? 😉

  4. GIRL!!!!! We were separated at birth. I have been going ON and ON and ON about these damn stick figure family stickers forever. Gil is SOOOO over my rant, but seriously. What the F@*#K? They bug the bejeezus out of me. As in, I am surprised I haven’t smashed into one of the vehicles in the school pickup line — that’s how much they annoy me. I thought it was just me and likely a southern thing — please tell me people in CA DO NOT monogram their windshields (don’t even get me started on the over-monogrammed state of affairs here in the deep south.) I am dying — in a good way. I needed this healthy dose of commiseration. I, Viv (my fake blog name, so we know this will go down in stone), pledge to NEVER put a stick figure bumper sticker family anywhere near my car NOR will I ever monogram ANYTHING on my vehicle. SO help me Hare Krishna (couldn’t help myself.) Thank you for bringing attention to such an important cause, my friend.

  5. Bumper stickers in general are annoying in my opinion. I like my car clean. That and I wouldn’t be able to choose just one and it’d end up telling the entire world all my religious, political, and social beliefs. That’s just obnoxious.

    • I like clean-looking cars too! I always wonder when I see a gorgeous, sparkling new car that has some ugly bumper sticker on it! LOL!

      I had a green “Irish for O’bama” bumpersticker on our Suburu for a while – last summer some $&%^&% guy yelled F.U. at Craig about it at an intersection, and I got flipped off. I finally covered it with a custom bumper sticker of a photo of Lucy & “I Love Collies” – only $5 at Zazzle.com! 😉

      • See that’s the exact reason why I wouldn’t. Especially in California. People here are just such bad drivers that adding into the mix some anti-Obama BS (showing my true colors on this one. Go Obama!) would just ruin my afternoon. I don’t need that compounded with God awful traffic on my way home from work.

  6. The stick figure stickers never really bothered me. The one that always upsets me is the large RIP graphics that some people put on their rear window. I have to wonder if it makes the grieving process so much harder when you are literally looking at that reminder every single time you get into your car (in fact many many many times while driving). And then, what happens when you sell the car or it gets (God forbid) totalled in an accident. Does it make the grieving process even harder, because now you are losing the reminder?

    • Excellent points, Leslie – I think the big R.I.P. graphic helps some people process their grief with the frequent exposures (although as you know, I am not any kind of mental health professional – this is just speculation!) but of course not with everyone. If that person sold the car, they would probably get another sticker, I’d imagine…anyway, thanks for coming by and I’m glad the stickers don’t bug you. I know it must come across as superficial that I take issue with them, but we all have our foibles….and I love venting, I mean, writing about them! 😉 Take good care & happy New Year to you!

  7. hey
    I was just going to email you but this was just as good. Thanks for informing me of the value that less is more. Thanks for the laughs. The David Caruso thing with his formularic, stiff one liners was so funny I had Mike watch it. What a relief to blogging less often with more value per blog.

    As your friend and fan, I seriously can’t wait for your book to come out so I can learn about another variant of bipolar disorder. Hurry up, wouldya?

    Thanks for all your support as I continue setting the stage.

    • Thanks for this awesome comment, Allison. I’m still sick with the evil cough and I’m so wiped out….but I had a burst of energy yesterday afternoon. (A chocolate bar might have had something to do with it) and I really wanted to write about the bumper stickers, as you could tell! 😉 It feels great to be appreciated by you – thanks from the bottom of my heart. The book won’t be out until 2017, but time is flying….and I’d be honored if you took a gander at it when it is “born”! p.s. I have 2 kids, not 3 – my husband borrowed my computer, and your email was open somehow (he’s not a snoop, I keep my emails open sometimes so I see them right away) and he glanced at it – and saw something about my having 3 kids. And he asked me if there was something he should know, LOL, with a worried look!!!! I was like,”Right, I’m almost 46 and I’m a lithium lifer, um, I’m not expecting now or ever again! Also, I ask your forgiveness – I promised replies to 2 of your emails by Jan. 1 – I need an extension please! 🙂 At least I reply here, yes? anyway, hope you had a good New Year and I’m proud of you for going for it and persevering with your writing!!!!

  8. OMG I fucking HATE those stick figures!!! I SHIT on them!!! They are so obnoxious!!!! It’s such a status thing! “Look at me, I am the embodiment of the American dream!” Two pukes to you, stick figure sticker user!!! I am so glad that you brought this up. I want to crash into these fuckers. Did I mention that I HATE these stickers?????

  9. Dyane! It is so good to finally make my way back to your blog. Sorry for the long time away (and I am sorry for myself because I love your posts). I share the same feelings as you about those stick figure bumper stickers. Specially when they get crude! I will read your deep thoughts any time! Hope you have a great 2016!


  10. Oh my gawd I am that obnoxious family…except I’m kinda mean about it because I have four kids but got bored after I found 3 stick figurus representing my kids so the fourth never made it on there. And then the van got towed and we never got it back…coincidence? I think not!
    Loved your deep thoughts and looking forward to more. Happy new year.

    • *Thank* you for being so gracious and not writing a snarky comment, Sandra!!! I was scared I offended you! You have a lovely sense of humor and I’m sorry the van got towed. That must have been a ginormous pain in the rear (and bank account, unless you had Triple A or something like that! 😉 Anyway, wishing you the best and Happy New Year to you – by the way, you’re truly amazing being Mom to 4 kids!!!!!!!!

  11. Oh man..I hate those stickers too! “Look at us and our smiling perfect family!”

    I saw one the other day…tiny car with 9 kids and god knows how many pets. It was like “what is this? A clown car? 😉

  12. Let mine be the 40th comment I don’t mind for real lady. At least I have some better and hopefully reasonably stable internet connection again. What a relief 🙂
    Don’t know much about bumpers and stickers so I refrain from making a clown of myself by commenting any words on that 🙂

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