David Caruso, Jay Mohr, Christopher Walken & Me


Warning – if you want intellectual, you’ve come to the wrong post!


Most of you are probably too young to remember this famous Almond Joy candy bar jingle:

“Sometimes you feel like a nut – sometimes you don’t!”

Today I feel like a nut in the best sense of that word. Some of you know I’m a tad, how shall I put this…hyper-aware of stigma (Virginia Woolf, anyone?) I’m using “nut” in a goofy 1970’s way…a way that’s innocent, and devoid of mental illness connotations.  

Two of my favorite actors are Christopher Walken and Jay Mohr. If you’re unfamiliar with Christopher Walken, please let me know in the comments and I’ll write a future post all about his glory.

Jay Mohr is an amazing comedian, a bestselling author (his book Gasping for Airtime chronicles his two-year-long stint on Saturday Night Live and his accompanying anxiety attacks) and he’s perhaps best known for his role as agent Bob Sugar in Jerry Maguire.

I also pay homage to actor David Caruso of CSI Miami fame…wait for it. 

I’ll back up a bit here to set the stage. Last fall when I was feeling blue, I watched a 2003 Comedy Central Special with Jay Mohr. In his finale Mohr included his famed Christopher Walken impersonation, but not just any old Walken impersonation – it was Jay Mohr as Christopher Walken as the actor David Caruso playing detective Horatio Caine of the hit show CSI Miami. (Say that ten times fast!)

I love how Jay Mohr does his wacky Walken – while yes, there are other comedians/actors who imitate Christopher Walken (hell, even Kevin Spacey does an impersonation!), and they’re all fun, Jay’s version is my favorite.

Keep in mind I was totally unfamiliar with David Caruso, CSI Miami, and Horatio Caine until I watched the Jay Mohr comedy special. 

Sequestered in my chilly bedroom while watching Mohr’s show on my Kindle, I began laughing so hard that my family came running into the room. They were shocked to hear their Mean, Grumpy Mommy giggling her derriere off.

I didn’t become a singing unicorn after watching my beloved Jay’s performance, but I felt a lot better after laughing like that. 

How good it was to forget about my inner doom and gloom for an hour.  If you’re feeling that way (Seasonal Affective Disorder, bipolar, life anyone?) I highly recommend searching for something on YouTube, Netflix etc. that will make you laugh. Treat yourself to a comedy break because you deserve it – I know you do!!! 

Before you watch Jay’s Walken clip located at the end of this post, please watch a bit of David Caruso as Horatio Caine in this “Endless One-Liners” video first.

f.y.i. there are some graphic crime scene snippets throughout the clip,so please be aware…

And now for Jay Mohr as The Mighty Walken, Master of the Cowbell – this bit cracks me up every time, it just does. Look for the Walken “eye bulge” move – no one else masters the Walken Eye like Jay.

(Don’t watch this around your kids unless you want them talking like a sailor around you!)

Do you have any funnies to share here? Please do so in the comments…

Hope something here has made you smile apart from my shoddy syntax! ;

See you next week, my lovelies!



Dyane’s memoir Birth of a New Brain – Healing from Postpartum Bipolar Disorder with a foreword by Dr. Walker Karraa (author of the acclaimed book Transformed by Postpartum Depression: Women’s Stories of Trauma and Growth) will be published by Post Hill Press in 2017.

50 thoughts on “David Caruso, Jay Mohr, Christopher Walken & Me

  1. I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE Christopher Walken. Years ago I was at bland rehearsal dinner, and in an attempt to lighten up the stuffy ambiance, my friend, Jake, started commenting on the food to the tune of ‘SNL Cowbell.’ As in. . . “I like the soup. . . but it’s missing something. . . not exactly sure what. . . ” And he’s quite theatrical and a total foodie, so we’re all waiting to hear his true thoughts and herb/spice recommendations when he busts out, “Ahhhh . . . it needs MORE COWBELL.” Well, the whole thing was so well-timed and random, and there we all are with stressed out, stuffy wedding people, and probably too much wine, to be honest, so of course we nearly spit our soup across the table, which made Jake play it up further. Jake’s date and I were laughing so hard we had to excuse ourselves to restroom so we could get it together. Anyway, that’s THE SNL clip that never fails to put a smile on my face. I’ll definitely check out your link soon! Thanks!

      • Walken just cracks me up – there’s no way around it. It must be surreal to have so many talented people (i.e. Kevin Spacey) imitate you, but what’s that proverb….”Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery”! 😉

    • I loved this story!!!!! It was hilarious! And anyone who reads this is going to remember it at a similar event, and possibly re-enact it! 😉 Thanks for sharing it and for making me laugh! XOXO

  2. I don’t know all those people helas, not only because I am slighly younger, but also because me commeth from Africa land of Kirikou and Kinta Kunte: but this in here sure made me chuckle to near choking ——– (Say that ten times fast!) I did manage 2.5 time hahahahahahaha

    • If I say “chuckle to near choking” ten times fast I might start drooling or something! 2.5 times is good! I love how you wrote so diplomatically “slightly” younger – my friend, you’re almost baby! A youth! A lot younger than me! 😉 hee hee!

  3. Dy, I found the Caruso clips funny, too. Nick used to always ask me, “Why does he cock his head like that?” And, I’d respond, “It’s a character bit.” Thank you for the light-hearted post.

    • david Caruso has a formula of looking at someone with that cocked head, sizing them up by squinting their eyes and then making a menacing deadpan statement. I just can’t watch him anymore. I think he used to be a good actor but is now a parody of himself. At least he had a second series after NYPD and was able to sock away money for retirement. Have you seen him in the Chazz Palminterie Linda Fiorentino psychsexual drama “Jade” from the early 90’s? He’s really good in that, totally different.

      • I never saw him in “Jade” (or CSI until I found the link of his one-liners) but that’s good he kept really busy as an actor – he could always retire and do a totally different career! 🙂

      • Anyone sick of Jennifer Lawrence by now? She’s got a big new movie coming out and I see her in various Dior ads over and over.
        I miss some of the older actors and directors who have faded away and applaud those who did theatre until someone noticed them again and cast them.

        Regarding David Caruso and his work: Jade was a box office disaster directed by Exorcist’s William Friedkin. But it was a terrific movie with David Caruso. It was part of the neo-noir movement. The chemistry between Chazz Palminteri, Caruso and Linda Fiorentino was palpable.

        About Neo-Noir and the Neo-Noir Stalwarts…only if you are interested in this sort of thing.

        One of my favorite film noir directors was an outsider from Montana his name was John Dahl, an wierdo outsider from Montana. He loved Linda Fiorentino and Ray Liotta, both of whom don’t get much work anymore.

        Then there was the black comedy with Ben Kingsley and Tea Leoni about depth and unconditional redemption available in AA. A sober hit man who is loved and supported just for being sober, it was called “You Kill Me.” It also tanked at the box office, was critically panned and blew John Dahl’s career out of the water. He now does “House of Cards, The Affair, directed episodes of House etc.

        He’s joined the ranks of many talented directors, like Stephen Soderberg (Traffic, Erin Brokavitch) in this regard

        And then there is “The Usual Suspects” director, Bryan Singer, who went on to do “Apt Pupil” and resigned from Hollywood and has a TV production company called “Bad Hat Harry” He created and directed “House, MD” and directed some “House of Cards” Episodes too.

        What I am trying to say here is that the best talent comes from outsiders, people who were given an expiration date.

        Kevin Spacey and John Boy Walton, Richard Thomas ignored the their shelf lives. The only person I really think did this in a big way know who is Kevin. He left Hollywood for nearly 10 years to revive a classic London theatre “The Vic” which had fallen on hard times.

  4. I haven’t seen Cowbell Yet. The only David Caruso performance that was genuine and unique was in the 90’s psychosexual thriller with Linda Fiorentino of “The Last Seduction,” (a classic about a sociopathic ball buster) and Chazz Palminteri. It was called “Jade,” and I was thrilled to see my favorite (though a parody of himself by this point) actor in something fresh and new. At least David Caruso had a second series after NYPD blue, many actors never recover from typecasting after a long running and successful series. But by that time, like Bob Denver of Gilligan’s Island, if they’ve invested rather than divested themselves of their cash in reckless consumerism, they have plenty of money. And every time their show reruns they get residual payments and make more!!! Screen Actor’s Guild really takes care of actors and even extras now. The two unions merged. I used to be in both. And I love movies and TV. I do a breakdown every Friday of new and notable in movies and a midweek TV blog. Speaking of which, the new Sharon Stone TNT drama, “Agent X,” is as hackneyed a mishmash of spy music, style, camera shots so as to make it unintelligible. And the person with the darker skin is always the villain. Blockbuster cast. Huge stinkbomb.

  5. Too funny!! I didn’t know Jay Mohr, I don’t watch TV, but this bit was brilliant, it’s the best impersonation of Christopher Walken I’ve seen.

    • Please, please if you have Netflix you can get Jay Mohr’s comedy special and I think that he’s on YouTube for free too! He is so funny about so many different things – he’s truly one of my favorite comedians ever. 🙂

  6. I think it’s funny just watching CSI Miami and how dramatic David Caruso is. I’ve often wondered what the real Miami Dade police think of the show!

    OT: “Breaking Bad” makes me laugh. It’s so intense and then something unexpectedly crazy happens (usually something gory like a bloody bathtub falling from the ceiling). Anyway, kinda dark comedy… but then there’s always “Scrubs” for a more lighthearted laughter.

    • That’s a good question about what the real Miami police think about CSI – I wonder if they all hate it, love it, or if there’s a 50/50 split!!! I haven’t watched the other shows (gasp!) but I do love dark comedy! Xo

  7. “Guess what? I got a fever! And the only prescription… is MORE COWBELL!” And Viv, at some random moment, I’m totally stealing the cooking “needs more cowbell” line.

    • I love the cowbell scene on SNL! I’ve blogged about that before – I think I included the link to it because everyone should see that!! 😉

  8. Thanks for the reminder, Dyane. I too have the fever. And the only prescription…more cowbell.

    Love Walken, and anyone who dares to imitate him. The shock now seems to be to see him in The Deer Hunter, and remember those horrid scenes that made him famous. He’s come such a long way from there !!

    Hope you are well, my emoji friend. Glad to be back on my blog. Life moves on…😍 😘 😗 😙 😚 😜

    • Sending you my love, will get caught up with your blog a..a.p.!!!!! It didn’t feel right having you “away”!!! And yes, life moves on. Sending you extra-big hugs for I know you’ve been through the fire. 💜💙🙈🙉🙊

      p.s.Despite being a big film buff, I’ve never seen “The Deer Hunter” – yes, ’tis true! I’m scared to see it, though….especially because my Mom has always told me that deer are my “totem” animal, and I see them often up here!

      • It was set in the steel towns around Pittsburgh, Pa, ( I can relate ) and the effect the Vietnam war had on a few friends who served and suffered the consequences. I won’t spoil it for you, but DeNiro’s character cannot bring himself to shoot a deer in his sights when he returns as a war hero. The deer are more symbolic here than anything.

      • Unfortunately I got bitten by the “Scandal” television series bug last night and I’m watching the first season on Netflix, although I LOVE LOVE LOVE “Madam Secretary” with Tea Leoni – and if I had to pick one series it would be that one! 😉 XOXO

      • Hi.
        I loved Novamblings. Olivia Pope’s Mom in ‘Scandal’ (Khandi Alexander sp?) Is the same actor as the CSI Miami Medical Examiner who is always bending down, caressing and sweetly cooing to the deceased. In response, David Caruso says one word, slips on the shades, and finishes the one liner.

      • Thanks so much! How did you know I just discovered “Scandal” Monday night! Well, not discovered, but I decided to watch it on Netflix. Now I’m hooked, although I prefer “Madam Secretary” and if you haven’t seen that yet I’d love know what you think!

        Re:The actress who plays Olivia Pope’s mom in the show – that’s a cool fact, & I never would have known that if not for your savvy! ) Thanks for reading & commenting btw – I know you’re a busy bee!

      • Khandi Alexander played a medical examiner in some other legal show and the bit where she always cooed to the corpses struck me as odd. But, it’s her way and a unique character choice. I read all your posts and comments and will until I can’t. Your mission and your life are new to me and you’ve been so incredibly supportive.

        I can’t frickin wait for your book to come out. I research all this television (And I loved Tea Leoni w/Ben Kingsley in the Noir AA comedy “You Kill Me.”) and I watch “Madam Secretary” all the time. She is soo good in that. I also think that Juliana Marguluise (sp?) brittle, businesslike portrayal of Alicia Florrick is getting more interesting all the time. Although It’s a personal sellout (in the show, I mean), that she hasn’t left that dog of a husband yet, don’t you think?

        I don’t know if you watch “The Good Wife,” but not having to work full time and taking the time to research tv before I see it allows my husband and I to unplug. Normally I find Network TV formulaic, and they produce way more episodes per season so sometimes that themes and material wear thin but I love “Madam” and “Good Wife,” and thought that the abrupt cancellation of ABC’s “Wicked City” was sad. At least it was original.

        Did you ever watch FX’s “The American’s? So intriguing. Russian Cold War 1980’s spy movie, but from the Russian “Illegals” (yes, plural) point of view.

      • I’m SO stoked you like “Madam Secretary” and I haven’t seen Julianna in it yet – I have to pay for each episode of the 2nd season and I’m on #2 I think! Thanks for YOUR support!!!!! I haven’t watched “The Good Wife” but that sounds interesting to me – haven’t watched “The Americans” or “Wicked City”. I’m just happily immersed in my two political dramas, ha ha! I was so bummed when “Californication” ended – I’ve always been a David Duchovny fan but now I love his ex better! 😉

      • Julianna is only in “The Good Wife.” Madame Secretary brings us up to date on what’s going on right now which is a substitute for watching the news, I hate to say. Homeland also.,They use today’s crises for their scripts because it is about counterrrorism and it is set in today. I showed hubby the David Caruso oneliners an he laughed. Before you posted that, he and I had noticed how calculated and repetitive his lines were delivered with that deadpan expression. We hadn’t yet noticed the bit about the sunglasses. Can you imagine having to resort to that to make a living? I’d be embarrassed! But he got to accumulate money for a second run, a second series and he was effective in it. People love a good, tough redhead.

      • Does anyone notice the slightly repetitive, somewhat hackneyed and very overuse of the act of putting on sunglasses to prepuncutate his one-liners in the David Caruso One liners?

        Caruso: “Yes Frank,” (puts sunglasses on) “The Verdict’s in.”
        Caruso, “He started the week big man on campus,” (puts on sunglasses) and ended it..like this bla bla”
        Caruso: :”All Except,” (puts glasses on) The right one.
        Caruso:”And that’s the wave,” (puts sunglasses on) that hit Miami.”

        early on, he only does it in the scorching heat and they overlight him with ‘fill light’ from below so that his eyes are twitching, almost watering, like someone who’s staring straight into the sun and actually needs to smoothly slip on those shades.

        But then, he starts doing it inside houses,,,like when they discover a young girl murdered in her bed. He puts sunglasses on indoors? When it’s halfway dark inside? Geezzzz.. They call it Network TV for a reason.

        His former boss, NYPD Producer, creator and writer, Stephen Bochco, …he probably came up with that move and Caruso has been dining out with it ever since!!!!

        I think Christopher Walken has the gravitas and sense of nuance to do anything. He could be in a spaghetti western or movie or stage version of Macbeth. (and in Macbeth he’d speak deliberately, like his does, so we’d understand him. He is the king of the deliberate dialogue pause with those eyes of his screaming volumes in silence. )

        About Deer Hunter. That was the movie that put Meryl Streep on the Map and got her her Screen Actor’s Guild Card. You can’t leave home without it. (you can’t get an audition without it, is what I mean to say.

        She was engaged to actor John Cazale, who played dimwitted brother Freddie in “The Godfather.” Cazale’s career was on the rise and he pushed for his girlfriend to be in the movie with him.

        I’m not sure if they knew he had terminal Leukemia while filming or not. The reason I know about Meryl Streep was because when I was younger, I looked a lot like her and did a lot of body doubling and mock up “Kramer vs Kramer” magazine ads that were stealing the theme of that very popular movie. Like I’d get 50 bucks to look like the 6million dollar woman. I had to take what I could get back then. I wasn’t waiting tables ..not yet.

        Naturally, I wanted to know more about this person everyone said I was a physical imitiation of, so I checked out her education and early career. Though I tire of her endlessly getting all the parts and awards, I have to say that she truly worked for it, even if she did have big time connections.

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