The Magic of the Alpura Cow Dancer

In my last post I declared I’d keep the next post around 500 words or less.  

I think I can do it today, so I’m going for it!  

A few days ago a blogger friend (The awesome shared a link to the Alpura Cow Dancer with me via Facebook. Now, I’ve run hot and cold when it comes to Facebook, but since it connected me with the Aplura Cow Dancer, Facebook and I are currently on good terms.

When I watched the Alpura Cow Dancer, I fell in love with the dancer’s joyous spirit!  I got such a kick out of how most of the passerby were oblivious to the freaky cow dancer bustin’ his moves right, left, sideways, up and down.  The spunky music made me smile for real.  (Is there a cowbell in there?)  

There are usually good reasons why the YouTube videos go viral like the Alpura Cow Dancer did. I felt inspired to share the Alpura love with those I cared about, hoping to bring a little fun to their day.  

First I decided to play some jokes.  I simply couldn’t help it. My ten-year-old daughter Avonlea has been asking me for years when I’d get a “real job” – apparently writing and blogging are not work in her eyes. (I’ve actually made honest-to-goodness, real money from selling my articles.  I even showed her copies of my paychecks, but it was all to no avail.)  Anyway, I told her that I was going to be an Alpura Cow Dancer and dance at our local Safeway! She cried. (I’m dead serious.)  I immediately placated her; she got over it quickly.

I played the same joke on my seven-year-old, and Avonlea willingly played along with me. As we watched the Alpura clip together, I stood up and mimicked the cow’s moves, pretending that I needed to practice for my “audition”.  (I think I was pretty good!) Luckily Rilla didn’t cry, but she harshly critiqued my moves.  That hurt.  After I spilled the beans to her, she thought it was funny.

My next joke victim was my husband, but he saw right through me and he didn’t believe it three seconds into my act.  Seventeen years together will do that.  I needed one more little buzz, so I wrote the following email to my Mom, a devoted reader of this blog.  The email said:

———- Forwarded message ———-
From: Dyane Harwood
Date: Wed, Mar 11, 2015 at 4:26 PM
Subject: My potential new job
To: Mom
Dear Mom,
I’ve applied for a part-time position.  It’s $25/hour at local upscale markets where I interact with customers – it’ll be good to get me out of the house and use my fitness background.   Watch the video and let me know what you think! :))


My Mom was actually quite excited for my job opportunity, but when I told her the truth, she felt sad. Now, there is a part of me that dreams of being an Alpura Cow dancing my heart out.  But I know the reality is that it would be hard as hell, I’d be sweating buckets in the inflatable suit, and (as difficult as it is for me to admit) I ain’t no Solid Gold-caliber dancer.  (I’m dating myself with that old television show – I turn a whopping 45 this Wednesday, March 18th & Lucy will turn ONE on the very same day as my b-day!  We are connected, I tell you.)  You can send me chocolate if you want.

At least I can watch the Alpura Cow dance every now and then, and I can even dance along with it if I really want to and frighten everyone around me.   I hope you enjoy the clip as much as I do.  🙂

Vaya con Las Vacas de Alpura!


p.s. can you believe there’s nothing bipolar-related about this post?  If you’re reading this, Mom, that’s my gift to you!

p.p.s. Oh no – I blew it! I exceeded 500 words!  It’s that delightful Alpura Cow Dancer’s fault – I got carried away. 😦 Ay caramba!

22 thoughts on “The Magic of the Alpura Cow Dancer

  1. You’re just jealous because if you and I had a cow dance-off, I might have a shot at out-nutting you! 😉 XOXO

  2. HOW ON EARTH DID PEOPLE NOT DANCE ALONG?! Those shoppers must’ve been–what? what explanation suffices?–not to react! I wanted to dance with the cow!

  3. Love the video. Brazilian. The guy got fired because the video went viral, or something like that. I didn’t bother to translate the pages from Portugese into English.

    • For the heck of it, I actually looked online for that exact cow suit but I didn’t find it – there are many other manufacturers of inflatable suits, though, by companies named “Happy Sky” etc. 😉 I didn’t spot the prices as I only looked for a minute or so, but I’m sure they aren’t cheap! :)))))

  4. hahhah I thought you were serious on Facebook. I thought, “she must really need the cash, that and her hips don’t won’t lie” 🙂

    love ya

  5. Lol. That dancer is awesome!

    I miss Safeways!!!! They are my fav. Besides Winco and H-mart. Sigh. West coast food luxuries. I need some Seattle time.

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