Sweating Buckets Over S/M/L Stuff

At the ripe age of forty-four, I thought I wouldn’t let petty things get to me quite as much as they did when I was younger.  Unfortunately I do let petty things  (and sometimes not-so-petty things – see items #2 & #5 below) bug me so much that I turn into Satan. 


What kinds of petty/non-petty stuff raises my blood pressure?

1) People who don’t return my emails 

2) People who pull dangerous, rude moves while driving our curvy mountain highway

3) Gross spammers (I wish spammers would get a life! They should start doing volunteer work instead of sending me emails about increasing my damn penis size???  And here’s a newsflash to them all: I DON’T HAVE A PENIS!!!)

4) People who won’t pick up their dog’s poop, especially in well-travelled areas

5) People who make clueless remarks about mental illness 

6) People who I’ve helped on and off for years, but when I need their help, they become mysteriously unavailable

I could go on and on, but I’ll spare you.  Well, maybe.  

All this stuff drains me, to say the least.  How I wish I could become impervious to at least half of the items on my list, but realistically that’s not going to happen anytime soon.  

I could start meditating to help me deal better with life’s indignities; meditation has been suggested to me over and over again by well-meaning professionals.  But I’d rather have my teeth cleaned than meditate.  (I hate getting my teeth cleaned and hearing that squeaky sucking sound!)

I’ve been told by vibrant, semi-enlightened souls how much a yoga practice will transform my life.  I’m happy for their yoga love, but I’d rather scrub my (very dirty) toilet.  I’ve tried different forms of yoga, but I simply don’t feel called to it.  I’d rather sweat heavily on a run, a hike, or on my elliptical machine.  (I *love* to sweat!  The more drips the better!)  Speaking of sweat, yes, I tried a Bikram “hot yoga” class years ago, and while I liked it more than the other kinds of yoga I tried, it didn’t float my boat.

While yes, I’m venting and whining up a storm, please believe me when I say that I know how damn lucky I am.  All I have to do is read an update about my neighbor who’s battling Stage IV cancer.  I’m reminded of how good I have it while reading profiles of my fellow nominees for the WEGO Health Activist Award.  Most of these incredible folks live with serious chronic illness. Each of their stories helps me appreciate the fact that while yeah, I have bipolar, thank God I don’t have debilitating migraines forcing me to live on my couch, or exist without an entire upper intestine and rectum. (Yes.)  

Ever since I was a child, my beloved Granny would often tell me in her New York-inflected accent, “Dyanu, it could always be worse!”  (Dyanu was one of her nicknames for me.)

My wise Granny was right.  It can always be worse.  I was very close to Granny as a teenager and young adult.  Lung cancer caused her to die a ghastly death ten years before my diagnosis.  While I was devastated that I lost her, I’m glad that Granny didn’t live long enough to see how “worse” it became for me after I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.  Although Granny was a valiant fighter throughout her life, I know that my struggles with mental illness would have torn her apart.

So here I am.  My sweat has evaporated both literally (I worked out an hour ago) and figuratively. (I’m not sweating over any of my pet peeves at the moment.) 

Tomorrow will inevitably bring its aggravations, but maybe I can sweat just a little bit less over them.  Who cares if that mean person doesn’t email me back? I can direct my attention upon more fulfilling things.  The rude, dangerous drivers will always pique my road rage, but maybe I can try using an essential oil spray to help me chill out in the car instead of flipping the bird or screaming out a very vile word.  

If I make a little progress with a few of my pet peeves, hopefully my feelings of accomplishment can make me a little less reactionary overall.  

And maybe I’ll get my first tattoo on a highly visible place (i.e. my hand, or perhaps my forehead, Maori-style) to remind me:  

“It could always be worse!”


*You can endorse me for the WEGO Health Activist Award (I was nominated by the bestselling writer Wendy K. Williamson!) until January 31st, 2015 at :


Endorsing me takes just 15 seconds and I’d be very grateful to you!

30 thoughts on “Sweating Buckets Over S/M/L Stuff

  1. Okay, when I saw the S/M/L part of the headline, i thought you were going to complain about the arbitrary assignment of dress sizes. One brand’s small is another’s large, etc. I’m glad I was wrong about your blog topic, because I would’ve whined for five hundred or more words about it!

    Anyway. I get gross spam, too. Nasty.

    I need to get “don’t sweat the small stuff” tattooed on me, too. Or maybe just posted on my desk where I’ll see it as I read online arguments, etc. Getting a tattoo freaks me out.

  2. Ha ha Laura! Yeah…I knew that the S/M/L part might throw readers off at first but I couldn’t resist using it all the same. I promise you I won’t ever write about the bizarre size discrepancies in women’s clothing because they make me NUTS! 😉

    Re: spammers – I wonder who ARE these spammers? Are some of them they my seemingly nice neighbors who I wave at in the morning? Probably yes. Yuck! Creepy! These spammers freak me out. I also wonder what kind of return do they get on their ridiculous messages? It’s hard for me to believe that many people fall for their scams, but I guess they do. Ugh.

    I actually won’t ever get a tattoo – I would rather spend the money on something soothing, like a massage or facial. Or ultra-high-end chocolate, of course.

    Thanks for reading and commenting!!!! I wish you a wonderful weekend!
    Dy 🙂

  3. Just because its worse for someone else, doesn’t mean your bad doesn’t have value. Its important because its yours. But yes, we do have to also enjoy/remember/value the good stuff too.

    • Amen to that, Cristi! Personally I think that now more than ever, it’s time for you and me to enjoy the good stuff. If we’re happy then we can ultimately help more people through our internet channels and in real life too.
      p.s. Happy 7th birthday to your son – my daughter is also 7, and I think it’s a particularly special age!!!!

    • Do you guys have an exercise machine of any kind? I askbecause what really helps me to work out regularly is knowing that I can use my Kindle to read my “Reader” on WordPress while I do the elliptical. The drawback is that I can’t comment on posts – it’s too hard! So I try to remember to comment later, but reading makes the time go by fast and in such a gratifying manner. I used to not be able to read and work out but for some reason I can do it now! 😉 Go figure.

      If that’s not possible for you, could y take out those hounds of yours or go by yourself for less stress for 20 minute walk a few times a week? You are more amazing than ever before with your new advocacy work, and busier, I know, but that means you need to take extra-good care of yourself! Find something you enjoy. I have a friend who swims, but I like to break a sweat so despite my trying swimming after I had my knee surgery, I dropped it. You can always dance around your house like a freak too – that counts!

      • We sold our exercise bike, but have a trainer that a large street bike is set up on now. The bike is way too large for me. I seriously injured myself on a men’s large street bike on my first date with my husband, and do not want to do that again. Yes, I SHOULD walk the dogs, and I COULD dance around the house. You are right. Tell you what. You nag me about exercising, and I’ll nag you about writing your book and getting off social media (which we both must control to keep ourselves focused and not overly stimulated).

  4. For me the idea of sweating physically is a sort of catharsis – as a way of getting rid of the toxins that my mind creates. I focus on them leaving my body through my pores. Something I can’t do with meditation or yoga.
    Plus focussing on physical exhaustion allows me respite from my mental exertions!

    • I love this comment, ikarlee, because it perfectly expresses how I feel as well! Thanks for so much for reading and for crystalizing my thoughts. You must be a ind reader! 😉

  5. Endorsed and tweeted it 😀 honey I hate dog shit too. It’s disgusting and people who don’t pick their dog’s up are major fuckers! Keep on fighting the good fight! Love ya!

  6. Oh my gosh, I totally get you about yoga. Vibrant and enlightened beings are always telling me the same thing, and I’ve tried it, but I just have NOT enjoyed it! I don’t feel any more enlightened, but I do feel back pain.

    • I live in a place in California where almost every person does yoga or teaches it! Honestly….I’m not exaggerating. I go through ridiculous “yoga guilt” once in a great while but I’m now accepting the fact that I’m never going to do it unless forced to by some meanie. I’m feeling kind of bad about not meditating, though – especially since I started watching a very interesting documentary about happiness (PBS – This Emotional Life – I love it) and there’s a segment proving that meditation increases the brain’s happiness section and is good for the brain…they interview the Dalai Lama and discuss the big study @ University of Wisconsin that shows how meditating monks had certain parts of their brain activated when meditating & how positive/healthy it is for their brains..but when I’ve tried it I just loathe it. I’ve spent enough time in my head and doing it makes me want to sleep and/or anxious! My pdoc wants me to keep trying. 😦

      • My psychologist is pushing the meditation, too. Checking out Tara Brach’s website made me warm to it a little bit. I like to listen to her talks, it makes me feel like meditation might not be so hard. I’m working up to it.
        That study with the brain activity of monks sounds really amazing. I’ll have to look that up!

  7. Dyane, you crack me up! I SO get it about the dog poop. Gross! :-/ And I never could meditate. I write in my prayer journal – does the same thing for me. I used to do Tai Chi, which also did it for me. Lots of sweating and because it was slow, it was like meditation.

    The older I get, the less the small stuff bothers me. Maybe it just comes with age. It’s given me a different perspective. Imagine yourself at 60 looking back on the small stuff. In the long run, the aggravation isn’t worth it.

    Peace out. 😉

    • Dear Susan, I always love seeing that you stopped by this blog – thank you for your positive energy and for making me feel less guilty for not being an obessive yoga or meditation gal! I never tried Tai Chi, but I gave Qigong a shot – it felt good, but I was bitten by the Qigong bug. I’m glad that the silly small stuff isn’t bothering you as much – you give me hope! Sending you lots of love and a hug, xo Dyane

  8. Impulse response. Dog shit. It gets on my bike tyres, then flicks up into my face. It gets on my shoes and on my car mats and pedals or I tread on things like hedge trimmer cables or suchlike which I then pick up transferring it to my hands, and kids play in the park and roll around in the grass and…. And while I see the ‘funny’ side, I really flipping hate it. Can I swear here? I mean I really really hate it.
    A growing phenomenon seems to be dog-shit trees and dog-shit fences, where good manners has meant it has been gathered, but then bad ethics has meant that the gatherer didn’t want to take it away and left it hanging on the nearest convenient-for-them place, so it hangs swing in the wind like a bauble on a Christmas tree. Nice.

  9. So many little things bother me too unless I learn to accept them. Acceptance doesn’t mean I like them, agree with or condone, but just that I accept them as reality as something that is and that I need not give my peace of mind to. Acceptance is the key.

    Giving up expectations that you have of others helps as well. If you expect people to act a certain way then it is harder to accept the way they actually do act.

  10. Hey Dy, I too get frustrated by people who don’t respond to emails. I mean we live in the age where most people, but there are exceptions, get them on their mobile phone so their really are no excuses for even a quick response.
    As for people who make clueless remarks about mental illness, they are as you say “clueless”. There is so much value in us sharing out stories, but then sometimes the clueless, and judgemental, prefer to stay that way and choose not to become a little more informed. And this can even include mental health “professionals”.
    And then the friends I have been there for so many times and yet disappeared. My first step is to try to give them a little more understanding that when I used to just write them off as “not someone I should bother with”. Walking away does not change attitudes and perceptions. Telling our stories can and does.
    Another, as always, great post.
    You will note that I am responding to some of your older posts. This is because I have been a bit (alot) slack in keeping on top of WP stuff lately. So I decided to go back and see what I have been missing from.
    All the best and hugs. Glenn

    • Yes, I noticed you were catching up with posts and I totally appreciate it! 🙂 Before I started following your blog I noticed how wonderful & consistent your comments were on several other blogs we both followed. I kept telling myself, “I gotta start following that Glenn fellow!” I’m SO glad I finally had the sense to do so!

      Knowing you’re out there is a comfort. You always write comments that show your deep understanding of mental illness issues and how we can better deal with the fallout that comes from the damage done from our pre-effective-med lives! I value your readership and friendship so much!

  11. It’s near bedtime here, so I must keep it brief. I tried yoga, too, and didn’t dig it except…what was that position, the updog position? It helps stretch my back out. Otherwise, I’m with you–the more sweat, the better! I used to walk a couple miles a day when we lived in Michigan; I’d ride with Bo to his workplace, and then I would walk across town to get home. I basically held myself hostage to work out so I could get home. 🙂 It worked! Well, I didn’t gain, anyway…rather lousy diet back then… 😛

    • That’s ***awesome*** you used to walk a couple miles daily when you lived in Michigan. (Did you know that my Mom attended University of Michigan at Ann Arbor? Go Wolverines!) Too bad about the lousy diet but oh well. We all have been through that, especially yours truly very recently! Anyway…….

      I live surrounded by yoga studios. Even the women’s support group that I facilitate meets *in* in a yoga studio which was graciously donated to us. However, I haven’t soaked up all the yoga vibes, and I doubt I ever will.

      Yesterday it was a gorgeous sunny day, and on a whim, I decided to run up and down our front stairs for five minutes. I used to do that workout at the high school after walking around the track for an hour – that was too much, but I won’t be doing that again. For some bizarre reason I like the burst of activity, and I’d rather do that than all the downward dogs (I think that’s what the term is) in the world. At least for now! 😉 🐶

      • Oh ick…I’d much rather live surrounded by cupcake bakeries. 😛

        Stairs make for a great exercise, too! I’m lousy when it comes to running, but I don’t mind walking for long periods of time. Oddly enough, I used to pace when I read so I could get some extra movement in my day after all the sitting to do work. I could get through a few chapters of novel AND work out a bit! But now I’m old, and need reading time to ice my back. 😦 ANYway, off to find some cupcake bakeries… 🙂

      • Duh! I realized I wrote about stairs to you again this morning on the Black Hairy Tongue post (I think!)

        Guess I’m not as much of a perky bird 🐧 (do you know that children’s song?) as I thought from the coffee I just had! p.s. you are NOT old!
        p.p.s. My girls and I decided the cupcake bakery we used to frequent isn’t that good. Unfortunately there’s an authentic Italian bakery 3 minutes away from my front door that IS that good.I stayed away from it over the past two months, but eventually I’ll darken its doors again, and I hope to show restraint. Sigh.

      • I THOUGHT that stairs bit sounded familiar! Eh, I repeat myself all the time. 😛
        Ooooooooooooooooooo, an Italian bakery! We used to live near one and it was addictively delicious every time. Probably for the best we don’t live in that town anymore, but yes, I know what you mean.
        LOL Here’s a bit about age for ya: a year ago Blondie attended summer school in June. This meant a craft for a Father’s Day present: a bunch of cotton dipped in sweet smelly stuff to go into a paper bag they painted. Ta da, air freshener! Stapled on was a paper titled “My Dad.”
        Dad’s name is BO
        My dad is 100 YEARS OLD
        My dad’s favorite food is MEAT
        My dad likes to WORK
        My favorite thing to do with my dad is PLAY GAMES

        So if my husband is a century old, I can’t be far behind. 😛

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