My Name is Dyane, and I’m a Puppyholic

I probably shouldn’t jest about a term that ends in “holic”, so I hope I don’t offend anyone.  

If you’re taken aback, please pardon me.  I’m under Lucy’s spell.  

Here’s item #1 to support my claim, the video “Dy & Lucy”:

I actually had the audacity (and/or foolishness) of posting that video on my Facebook page.  You know you’re in puppy love when you don’t care too much that you’re posting a video clip in which you rolled out of bed, you haven’t brushed your hair, you didn’t put on a stitch of makeup, and hmmm, when was that last shower?  Plus you look a little bit…crazed. (As much as I loathe the word “crazy”, I do look a bit wacked out in my glazed eyes.)  

But it’s all good, you see?

Because it’s all about Lucy!

At the ripe age of forty-four, I forgot all about the experience of puppy bliss.  (I also forgot about the house training, but nothing’s perfect!)  The last time I cared for a puppy was twenty-four years ago, in which Tara (Lucy’s great aunt) came into my life.  

Tara’s mother, a Sheltie/wolf mix, had to have a Cesarian section, and I witnessed my puppy being born.  Tara almost didn’t make it.  I viewed her birth through a window at the animal hospital, and the veterinarian repeatedly lifted Tara up and down to clear out her lungs.  I remember feeling such a rush of joy when I was told she would live.  Tara was a fabulous dog in all sorts of ways, and when she died in my arms a few years ago I already struggled with bipolar depression.  When she left me, I sank even deeper in despair.

The fact that Tara lives on through our Lucy moves me.  It feels right.  We put off having a dog for years due to the severity of my mental illness.  Now that I’ve been stable for a while, it’s an opportune time to embark on this journey.  

It’s nice to focus on such a loving, trusting and joyful small creature.  

Being in the garden today with Lucy is the antithesis to being stuck in a mental hospital with nothing except strangers, pills, and misery.  I can’t help but make the comparison between those two experiences – the thought arrives without warning.  I imagine my feeling is related to post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD); I’m not sure if those intrusive thoughts will ever disappear.  

What matters more than the trauma of hospitalization is that I made it through those suicidal periods.  While I wasn’t magically healed after my last hospital discharge, over time I got much better.  I’m back to trusting my own brain again.  I’m grateful that as I type this last paragraph, I spot little Lucy edging up to me with the beauty of her affection, and I can scoop her up and savor her warmth with every fiber of my being.

Amazing cuteAmazing cute two













10 thoughts on “My Name is Dyane, and I’m a Puppyholic

  1. Ok…I know I’ve said it before and it sounds cheesy but I LOVE LUCY. Not only that, obvious she has lifted your spirits and I don’t even know you personally. It’s that familiar feeling of that up feeling you feel when you realize that this little furry ball of joy is making a great inpact on your mental health. I have faith that this will continue and Lucy is not only the cutest puppy ever, but a reason to want to keep going. She’ll be a reminder when you start sliding into that depressive mode, which hopefully will be a long time from today, (just being realistic..we’re bipolar and very aware,) that you’re everything to her. She’ll never be mad at you for some superficial reason. She wont be passive aggressive and would never give up on you. I know this because my big fat black cat has saved me from terrible things.
    Just be aware that sometimes there will be a poop present on the floor every now and then but ya know, big deal. It will give you something to do when you have no motivation to get out of bed. Haha
    I subscribed to your youtube channel. I hope you have a great weekend. I have a feeling that you will. Don’t worry about keeping up on the blog. Enjoy this puppy! =)

    • Awesome comment, Jip-C – you are quite astute in noting that Miss Lucy has raised my spirits! I’ve been the primary poop/pee cleaner-upper and it doesn’t even get to me that much because that’s how goofy-in-love I am with her. Doesn’t that fact speak volumes?

      I did get a chance to enjoy your Ye Olde Bipolar Blog last night and I was riveted – you have been through so much and your writing really flows well and keeps me wanting to know what happens next…you didn’t mention that big, fat black cat in that post, however. I don’t think you did! I’m SO glad you had her (him?) to be with you during those horrible times.

      You are right in that depression always lurks around the corner with those with bp – we never know when it will descend upon us because that’s how life is. At least I’ll have Lucy in my corner. We’ve already bonded and she’s really my dog but I’ll let the rest of the family think that they are her favorites! Ha ha ha! Thanks for subscribing to my YouTube channel – I rarely use it – do you have one? I need to check. But first, priorities – another cup of coffee and a cuddle with her highness Lucy.

      Thanks for stoppin’ by!!!!!! I’m stoked you’re a reader!

      • First off, I had to google the definition of “astute.” I am grateful because I’ve learned something new. Thank you.
        I have a buttload of stories to tell but figured I’d take a little break cause my mood has went in a borderline dangerous direction so I’m trying to get thru it without reminding myself that I’ve been thru hell. The good thing is that I’m aware that I have make a change to stay healthy so thats a big deal. So…I wrote a post about cassette tapes on my other blog last night. Which made me laugh. My own stories make me laugh. That is awesome.
        The big fat cat is a boy and his named Meatwad. He’s older now but he’s the best cat ever. He’s a sloth and he doesnt ask for much. Kinda like his mama.

        Happy Mama Day and I hope you have a great day. Your comments make me feel good and I appreciate you.

    • Awww, thank you! I’m glad that I didn’t freak you out with my coooey tone on that video – I couldn’t resist doing it. Lucy is THAT cute and she brings it out in me!! :)))))

    • Thank you Beth – I am so grateful for the wonderful advice you gave me last week. I was thinking of enrolling Lucy in a puppy training class. Petsmart has one that starts when pups are at least ten weeks old – I wonder what you think of them…I could just do it on my own of course, and follow my Monks of New Skete “The Art of Raising a Puppy” book but I do better with an actual class.

    • She really is super-mellow – that was my very first impression of her. She can be super-playful too, so I have the best of both worlds. She’s such a delight! (Except when her tiny vampire-like teeth grab hold of me! 🙂 Thanks for reading & for your comment. It’s always great to “see” you here.

  2. Thinking of you Jip-C you’ve been quiet lately and I miss you!!!!!!!!! How are you doing? Sorry I haven’t checked in before now – it has been an out-of-it time for me since Mother’s Day. (Well, I’m always kind of out-of-it – let’s just say out-of-it+++) Hope Meatwad is giving you lots of love!!!! I laughed when you wrote that you had to find out the definition of “astute” – I’m glad you learned that one. Hope to see a fresh post from you soon, my dear. hugs from Dy & Lucy Puppers

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